The Third Poll is Closed!

So the third poll closed the other day and it appears as though the audiences is divided. 30% of you were planning on checking out the movie on opening day, while another 30% thought that I was lame and didn't want to see the film at all. That was a much lower number than I suspected.

20% of you were planning on making me see it with you for the second time. I've got some bad news on that front. I've already seen it twice. Maybe third time is the charm. Another 20% of you were only going to pleasure yourself to Megan Fox, which is admirable. I did watch the film with my pants off each time. She is a very lovely creature. I feel like they had to grow her in a lab or something. People just don't look like that.

Anywho, thanks for participating again. Also, if you haven't seen the movie yet keep your eyes peeled for another instance of prejudice that I uncovered during the second viewing. The little doctor Decepticon is into crazy medical procedures and has a German accent. Its clearly offensive to Germans and Nazis. I can't see people complaining too much about this though.

Happy hunting!

Sir Paul is Coming!

My semi-shut-in grandmother just informed us that we really dropped the ball this summer concert series. Apparently, Paul McCartney is playing in the area and we had no idea.

A few years back he came to the MCI Center (or whatever the hell its called) in DC and yours truly, baby sis and the mighty King of Dundalk made our way down there to take in the show. Dad damn near lost his mind when he saw how close we were to the stage. He was actually moaning while we walked down to the seats. What followed was the greatest live show I have ever seen in my life.

In any event, I just booked three seats for us on August 1. Dad just called me in a panic because he thought we would be shut out of the good seats. Fortunately, the recession is keeping out the riff-raff. We should have a pretty nice show filled with super-fans. I'll obviously give a full review of show when the time comes.

In the meantime, please enjoy this Wings classic.

Shia Works Five-Way on Today Show

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This video has been around a bit, but I still dig it. That's the kind of easy-going verbal milk that only rich dudes and movie stars can pull off. I bet Shia spent the day with this girl and her four friends in NYC. She was good to go. I bet her friends were too.

Its nice to see a celebrity using that status for something worthwhile. I'd rather see this sort of thing than have them tell me who to vote for.

My Sister's New Ringtone

Baby sis would very much like this for her phone so if anyone knows where we can find it drop us a line.

This really is a modern masterpiece. Kendra enlisted famed rapper Too $hort to perform it with production duo Play-N-Skillz manning the controls. Play had this to say:

"We had extreme synergy going into the studio with Too $hort and Kendra to record the theme song. We had a great time recording it and we're very happy that Kendra loved the theme song."

Artistic synergy, huh? It sounds like they really gelled when they were writing this rhyme. I think Too $hort phoned that shit in.

I'm probably just jealous that there are no songs with my name in it. I guess no one ever loves Matts enough to immortalize them in song. Sigh.

Anyways, here is another great clip of the lady my sister shares a name with courtesy of Joel McHale and The Soup. My sis really is in good company. Interesting fact: my sister flashes her boobs about as much as Kendra Wilkinson does.

It Comes in Threes

Old celebrities can breathe a sigh of relief. It looks like they have escaped the Reaper and bought themselves some more time.

I've been watching CNN since I heard and I'm mostly just surprised that there are so many damn people outside the hospital now. I blame Twitter. I guess that's why they delayed the announcement of his death as long as they could. They needed to mobilize and make sure they could handle the crowd.

Hopefully, our Left Coast correspondents will report in and let us know how things are going.

If there is any positive side to any of this its that CNN's Wolf Blitzer gets to live out his dream and be an MTV vee-jay. He's been playing MJ videos for the past 10 minutes.

A Brief Review of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

I may or may not have this toy. You'll have to get your mom to schedule a playdate if you want to find out.

So I just checked out the new Transformers film (shocker!) and I have to say that I enjoyed the hell out of it.

The movie has been catching a lot of flack from critics for its lack of story, and they may have a point, but you don't go to see Transformers for the scintillating plot. You go to watch giant robots fuck each other's shit up. The movie certainly delivers on that. Plus there was a lot of scattered ass in the film. In addition to Megan Fox, who runs around in slo-mo quite a bit, there is another girl named Isabel Lucas, who is like a blonde Megan Fox. We get to see her panties too. Righteous.

One other point of contention was the supposed racist nature of two of the new Autobots, Mudflap and Skids. Critics have blasted these characters for being stereotypes of ethnic minorities. Are they stereotypical? Yes, probably, but come on is this your first Michael Bay film? That's like his signature piece. The Rock has like 30 stereotypical characters including a gay hairdresser, a rich German Humvee drivers and two sassy black people that are taken hostage on the Alcatraz tour. I'm just surprised that people are surprised.

In any event, the movie is fun and my enjoyment was only heightened thanks to the Cherry Coke, popcorn and very tasty Black Angus all-beef hot dog I inhaled before the previews. Plus my man MC Smooth B was there to geek out with me. Also, and I will never admit to this in person, some of the real cheeseball schmaltzy parts kind of got to me. I think maybe I had some of my own emotional things going on, but nevertheless I felt super-lame when it happened.

This is summer popcorn flick at its finest and is certainly worth checking out despite the one star review it received from the Baltimore Sun. If the critic is so concerned about a good story then he should rent The English Patient and leave this stuff to me and the other geeks.

If you won't be getting to the theaters anytime soon, then check this out. It should tide you over until you check out the new movie.

What did you think of my Optimus Prime costume? Pretty sweet, huh?

Delta Force and CIA Shit Rules

So when I'm not watching the History Channel or Military Channel's high-quality programs about war and the Special Forces, I am scanning other networks for their offerings. Tonight, the National Geographic Channel aired a show called CIA Confidential that detailed the CIA's attempts to take out Osama Yo Mama right after 9/11.

Apparently, they sent seven operatives into the Hindu Kush mountains with the mandate to kill Osama and bring his head to the president. I think that was for real too. I can see Bush asking for something like that. Anyways, the show talked with the ex-Special Forces dudes who were in Afghanistan as well as their handlers at Langley and was pretty cool. They even talked with the legit Special Ops teams that were helping out in the mountains, including the commander of the Delta Force team (the U.S. Army's premier anti-terror team) who goes by the name... Dalton Fury! I'm guessing its a pseudonym but that is certified bad-ass. I actually went "Whooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaa" when they said his name on the show.

I can't really think of a cooler name. It screams "secret agent." Plus, this dude could put you down fast. I would not mess with a dude named Dalton Fury.

I think my excitement over Dalton's name has a lot to do with my own name. I kind of sound like I should have a fruit cart on some New York street or be tossing dough in the air at your local pizzeria. My name does not suggest a man of mystery or a dude not to be trifled with. Which is why I made up my own. Rock Dangerwolf. I think that name sums up what I'm all about. You don't fuck around with a dude named Rock Dangerwolf. Names carry power and my new one is powerful as shit.

If I were a Delta commander, they would have given me a lame name, I bet. It would have been something like Frederick Hobosweat. And its not like you can complain about it. Its bad form.

I think Chuck Norris should have had a more bad-ass name to go along with his super-sick motorcycle in 1986's action classic, Delta Force. Scott McCoy does not do him justice. It sounds like someone on 90210 or something. Lee Marvin went by Nick Alexander, which is pretty cool I guess, but I have always had a big problem with people that have two first names. Its just dumb. Gary Frank. Steve Mark. John James. Ted Todd. Doug Steve. The list goes on and on and it only gets worse. But I digress.

I think the movie would have been way cooler if the dude firing the missiles from his chopper was named Dalton Fury.

Get 'em, Dalton!

Chuck Norris Prepares For Battle In Delta Force 2
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