This is Funny as a Monkeyfighter!

This doesn't need much in the way of an intro or accompanying jokes. 

Its old but still funny. Don't flame me if you've seen it. I'm just digging embedding videos and music and shit on the blog.

Dundalk's Finest: The Dudes That Invented Big Johnson T-Shirts

This article really has the very best Baltimore has to offer. It details the creation of the Big Johnson t-shirt empire, which is based in Dundalk. I really had no idea about that.

The article also features a special guest star that will delight my sister. 

DJ BATMAN! 

Who knew he was instrumental in bringing Big Johnson to masses? I salute you brother.

Anyway, enjoy the article. 

www.citypaper.com

Hot Grill on Grill Action!

Occasionally, we at the manor dismiss the help for the evening in an attempt to live like commoners. The other evening my sister Kendra (the Baroness of Essex) and I decided we would have a Veggie Night and prepared all the trimmings for vegetable quesadillas on the grill.

After a quick snack of Esskay hot dogs (We're in Baltimore, son!) we were ready to rock.

We went with a nice mix of red, yellow and orange peppers, mushrooms and red onions that I seasoned with a mix of chili powder, cumin, salt, pepper, cilantro and other shit.  We used the fun grill pan/basket thing, which is a blast to grill with. I like the taste of the fire-roasted vegetables. Its very earthy and common. Plus I like to cook with fire.

We then made up the quesadillas and popped them on the grill. A few minutes per side to toast the tortillas and melt the cheese and we were good to go.

The quesadillas were pretty good, but I was all filled up from my hot dog snack so I only ate the one. 

Then we got milkshakes from Chik-Fil-A. They now offer smaller sizes as a direct result of my sister complaining to the corporate headquarters. My regular-size shake blew up in the driveway though, which was a major bummer. I couldn't even save any of it. The top shot off and it erupted everywhere. The bottom of the cup even blew off, making sure that every last drop exited the cup. 

I was pretty pissed.

I Have Three Followers!

Hey gang! It appears that at least three people on the planet love me. That's pretty sweet.

As a special to gift to my first three followers, from now on known as Matt's Holy Trinity, I will provide for them a very erotic lap dance at their convenience. They can pick the costume and music. I highly recommend the sexy cop outfit and "I Know What Girls Like" by the greatest rapper alive, HOVA. 

I Know What Girls Like (Feat. Puff Daddy & Lil Kim) - Jay-Z

Call me!

Hershey Has Done it Again! Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

Apparently, the fine folks at Hershey have way more faith in their Iced Tea Ice Breakers than I imagined. The other day while standing in line at my local Target, I spied not one, but two more varieties of the Iced Tea mints: Peach and Raspberry. I quickly snatched up the Raspberry one since Peach is not my thing. 

I can safely report that it is a tasty little treat. Lemon is still my horse, but these will do in a pinch. I'm surprised that there is apparently a line of Iced Tea Mints now. Normally, anything that I like is quickly cancelled forever (ie BBQ Chex Mix and Southwest Salsa Style Munchems). My grandmother even wrote a letter to Ralston Brands in an attempt to revive BBQ Chex Mix to no avail. I was a fiend for that stuff. I used to get it as gifts for birthdays and Christmas. NO joke.

When I go back to Target, I'll pick up the Peach ones for the sake of experimentation. I can't leave my readers out in the cold after all. 

I'm here for you! (Not really. This little blog is nothing more than a giant ego stroke.)

The Beatles Come to Rock Band!

I'm not a huge gamer by any stretch of the imagination. I tend to fall in with one gaming system or another before I get bored with it and move on to real lame shit like reading books or looking at porn online.

But I must admit that this little trailer from the geek mecca that is E3 has me a little stoked. I may have to snag an Xbox 360 and a sick Sgt. Pepper jacket so I can play along. I'll even grow Beatle hair and a nice moustache.

Nature's Most Amazing Events

The Discovery Channel recently outdid itself with the new BBC series Nature's Most Amazing Events. Its a little reminiscent of the other fantastic series Planet Earth in that it has fantastic camera work and very cool subject matter.

It was basically six episodes and aired over the weekend (sorry I didn't give the heads up sooner), but will probably be one like a million more times before the end of the month. You should check out this show for many reasons, most of which are very scientific and have redeeming social value. 

If you're not that into science or worthwhile TV then watch it for the awesome segment dealing with my #2 favorite animal in the world, the walrus. I like walruses for a few reasons: a) they have gnarly tusks b) they're really fat and have inch-thick blubber skin and c) their bristles make them look like they have big bushy moustaches. 

In the episode "Arctic Summer," the walruses took center stage for a really quick segment. The walrus basically just swam around eating clams, then climbed onto the beach to chill out and then laid the biggest fart ever. It was fantastic. It reminded me of my sister on Taco Night here at the Royal Palace.

So, in summation: Nature's Most Amazing Events is worthwhile TV for cinematography, science and walrus farts. I think you'll enjoy it if you catch it.