Monday, October 3, 2011

Mastiff Monday

So there is a very fun TV blog called Warming Glow (extra credit if you get the Simpsons' reference) and one of their weekly features is Corgi Friday. As you may have guessed, the writer basically posts pictures and videos of Corgis. I love Corgis a great deal. Their tiny little legs are both adorable and functional, allowing them to run under sheep and herd them. Plus they have very cute, pleasant faces. I don't think there is a soul alive who would not like the Corgi Flop once they have seen it. Corgi Friday is a wonderful idea and I am glad it exists.

In any event, I think it is time another breed got its due. Since Corgis are tiny little guys, I decided that I wanted to promote the other end of the spectrum and showcase English Mastiffs. Mastiffs are great because they are enormous. I think that is reason enough to love them.

Males average 150-250 pounds, while females average 120-200 pounds. The largest recorded weight for a mastiff is 343 pounds. That's incredible. It's like taking Haloti Ngata for a walk. Now I don't want to think about how much a dog like that eats and I really don't want to think about what you would have to clean up after it. I think the most important thing to take away from this is that you could probably ride one of these dogs.

Mastiffs also have a very good temperament. They are very loyal, loving and are basically gigantic, real teddy bears that you can leave to protect your house. I'm certain you will have to wipe up some drool, but that is the price you pay for one of these big guys.

Plus you get to give them awesome names like Zeus, Samson, Thor, Goliath or Jumbo. You can't throw those around with golden retrievers or beagles without looking like a punk.

If you are having some trouble getting behind my logic, please check out the visual evidence.

The are very cute as puppies.

And also make great companions.

Plus, they will keep you safe from dragons, which is a threat we have overlooked in recent years.

In summation, Mastiffs are where it is at. In the world of big old dogs, this breed reigns supreme. Not everyone can handle this much love, but I salute those that do. You're doing the hard work that we can't.

Now please enjoy, Tank and his shenanigans. He's not so bright.

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