Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Princess Kendra's Dream Theatre: That's a Situation!

Oh how I've missed this. They never get old to me. I hope they don't get old to you either. This time around, baby sis visits grandma's house and becomes The Situation's bang maid. Enjoy.

I was in Dotsy's house, but she wasn't there and The Situation came over. I was making eggplant parmesan, but heated up some leftover eggplant parm for him. I heated it in a Styrofoam container, but saw that melted away so I plated it for him. We were just hanging out, I thought per chance we could bang, but it was more of a friendly visit. I heard some rustling around upstairs and then Dad came down the stairs, tripping and totally wasted. The Situation pretty much bolted after he introduced himself and I thought it looked so sketchy, like I was running a bang session. When he introduced himself, he was all thuggish, and I was so embarrassed.

Not nearly as embarrassed as the family when we try and explain my sister. Also, I am still waiting on that free psychiatric advice for her. Don't be stingy, dammit.

Friday, December 24, 2010

New Take on a Holiday Classic

So this is a fun little video just in time for your Yule celebrations. It harkens back to a simpler time when guys as mismatched as Bing Crosby and David Bowie would get together to sing Christmas carols together. I think people are still trying to figure that one out.

Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly stay kind of faithful to the old duet up until a point. Then they take it off into a nice awkward direction. I am always surprised by how moved I am by Ferrell's dulcet tones.

Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The Princess Bride... Now with More Lightsaber!

I usually think I'm a cool guy, but then I stumble across something like this and realize how impossibly geeky I really am. I was grinning like an idiot for the entire two minutes.

I'm not sure there is anything that is not imporved by a little lightsaber action.

The fact that I really enjoy The Princess Bride is probably a further reflection on my geekiness, but I'm OK with that because chicks really love this movie too. It defies classification. It's a chick flick with some boss sword fighting thrown in. Plus there was a giant rat.

Aaaaaaaaand Andre the Giant!

In summation, The Princess Bride is damn near perfect. Lightsabers and Jedis might be the only thing that would make the movie better.

Or tits. I forgot about those.

Monday, December 13, 2010

More Reasons to Love Bea Arthur

This is all over the Internet, but I feel as though I am doing a disservice if I don't share this with my loyal subject.

It appears that Bea Arthur, contrary to her public statements, did a stint in the Marines.

What a bad ass.

She served under her birth name of Bernice Frankel and as you can see is tall as shit. She enlisted in 1943 and served for 30 months in the Women's Reserve as a typist and truck driver. Strangely enough, she has always publicly denied that she served. It's not like people can't check. I guess someone finally did.

During her enlistment, she took part in interviews that contributed to a "personality appraisal" that called her "argumentative" and "over aggressive." That's my girl. I feel like she would have fit in well with the hard-ass women in my family. She would have been my favorite great-aunt or something and would have constantly busted my balls.

The only blemish on her record was a misconduct report from when she contracted a venereal disease and was laid up for five days as a result. That's a vicious VD.

If you want all the sordid details, visit The Smoking Gun.

Semper Fi, Bea! You're in elite company.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Blatant Video Theft Corner: CNN Screw-Up On Air

This one is going to be short and sweet. There really doesn't need to be much in the way of explanation or analysis. I will say this: someone screwed the pooch over at CNN. But we're all winners thanks to his mistake.

I remember when I first saw this scene in the theaters when I was in high school. I almost wet myself (I was like 16. Then again, I would probably react the same today.). My buddy Smooth B laughed so hard he almost jumped into the seat in front of him. Thus a comedy classic was born and a good time was had by all.


Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Merry F'ing Christmas

Nothing like a little Slayer to get you in the holiday spirit. It's either this or Bing Crosby.

If neither of those work, I can't help you. You're probably dead inside. Do us all a favor and retire to the wilderness and live out your days in solitude.