Blatant Video Theft Corner: Top Arnie Quotes

This is a pretty long video and I doubt many of you will even view it, but its my blog and I can do whatever I want so here goes.

Ladies and gentlemen, the 160 Greatest Arnold Schwarzenegger Movie Quotes of All Time. I particularly enjoyed the "bullshit" and "fuck" medlies, all the stuff from Predator and when Conan recites what is best in life.

I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed Arnie's films. The action is always over-the-top and who can forget the ridiculous one-liners he was always dropping on us? They're so great with that thick accent he has. He's been in this country for 42 years. You think he would have lost it, or toned it down, by now, but I guess we should be thankful. It's a part of his charm.

Anyway, if you need me over the next couple of days, I'll be in front of the TV rewatching all of these modern classics.

The Current Poll: An Update!

Well it looks like all I need to do is piss and moan a bit and then everyone shows up and participates around here. Luckily for you guys, pissing and moaning is what I do best.

Since I last bitched about it, the poll has had a whole lot (read: 8) of votes placed. Whew! Talk about a blistering pace! So far Betty White and Bill Murray are neck and neck with three votes a piece. Tied for second is Sir Paul McCartney and my father Sir Robert of Dundalk (who the other morning ran out of the house in his underwear to yell at the squirrels eating the freshly planted grass seed).

Bringing up the rear is me (sad trombone sound)! I guess most of you have already eaten with me before so its not that big of a deal to share a meal with me. Especially when I pick off your plate. Its a bad habit I am trying to break (not really).

Also, the previous paragraph was not an attempt at shameless vote-begging. For reals. I'm not that lame. All those other people are way more interesting than me. I put my name on the list to weed out the brown-nosers.

Anywho, vote if you haven't already yet. There are still a few more days left in the poll and all of my royal subjects have an equal voice that deserves to be heard.

Equal to each other, of course. Not me.

Yinz Should Visit Picksburg

Now I'm not usually a "your town sucks" kind of guy because I was born in the Baltimore area and we get our fair share of shit. Every place has its pros and cons and I kind of think its stupid to trash an entire place because you don't like one particular part.

However, I will make an exception for Pittsburgh. My only beef with them is the damn Steelers, or Stillers as the Picksburg locals like to call them. I won't get into football specifics, but chances are if you're reading this blog you bleed purple and black (and maybe a little orange when the O's are winning), so I don't need to explain any hatred I may have for the team.

As far as the city goes, its not that bad. I had some fun times it old Pittsburgh when my cousins lived there and even rooted for the Steelers waaaaaaay back before Bodymore stole itself a new team. Also, how could I hate a town that makes a sandwich like this?

God bless you, Primanti Bros. You're doing the Lord's work.

Truth be told, the only thing that makes this news story uniquely Pittsburgh is the Dusquesne t-shirt and the regional Pittsburghese dialect. Put a Terps shirt on the guy and switch the "yinz" to a "youse" and that guy could be from Essex or--dare I say it?--Dundalk.

I guess at the end of the day, those damn Yinzers really are just like us Baltimorons. We're both from blue collar cities that like to overeat and we are passionate about our football teams. We just have a less rapey quarterback.

My point is we're all trashy and should probably stick together. Enjoy the video.

There's A New Poll

So far only two of you have voted and you're all making me feel like a buster.

I feel like this is a fun poll that everyone can get behind. You have to want to meet at least one person on that list, so get voting people!

If you have a better set of candidates to have a meal with, let me know and we can run it up the flagpole and see who salutes.

For the person who wants to have dinner with my dad, e-mail me and I will set that up for you.

That is all! Return to your normal daily tasks.

Postcards from the Land of the Rising Sun: Pussy Soup

I decided to begin a new feature on the blog so I can keep track of all the bizarre shit I find from Japan.

I feel that every video that I come across is like a glimpse into the very surreal life of these people in the Far East. I'd like you all to think of this blog as some kind of cultural trading post or some other equally pretentious analogy, and use it thusly.

As for this video, I've got no fucking clue. Obviously there are cats that make soup in it, hence the name "Pussy Soup." They apparently use lasers in their soup-making and sometimes have fire-eyes, but there are still a lot of questions that need to be answered. First and foremost in my mind, are the puppet cats perceived as different in this world or are they the same?

This is the same problem I had with Rolf running a kennel in The Muppets Take Manhattan. WTF, man?

Also, I'm pretty sure I heard the phrase "chocolate titty" in the clip, but that might have been Japanese. Or maybe someone really said "chocolate titty." I rule nothing out.

Hot Tub Time Machine Premiers Today

Needless to say, I am excited. I've been waiting for a mindless, raunchy sex comedy for a while and this looks like it.

The movie is also getting some very good reviews. The Washington Post critic went so far as to call it "brilliant." That's exactly what I want to hear. Nothing like a brilliant comedy with nudity and pervasive profanity to start my weekend.

I'm looking forward to turning my brain off and enjoying this movie.

Blatant Video Theft Corner: Bill Murray Tends Bar at SXSW

This video is one of the coolest things I have ever seen and just adds more creedance to my claim that Bill Murray is one of the only people I would stand in line to meet.

Apparently, Bill was hanging out in a bar in Austin, Tejas for a bit and then left to go see a Wu-Tang Clan show. Then he came back to the bar with the RZA and the GZA (who I met at the Roy Rogers in the Columbia Mall back in the day. C.R.E.A.M. muthafuckas!) and proceeded to guest bartend for a while, serving tequila shots no matter what the patrons ordered.

What a cool, fucking shit! I love this guy. I haven't seen a movie with him in it that I didn't like. He's basically King Midas. Everything he touches is gold.

How cool would it be to be sitting in a bar and have Bill Murray come up and ask what your pleasure is only to give you a tequila shot? Incredibly cool would be the answer to that question. But wait there's more! You look down the bar and -- oh shit, son! -- its Bobby Digital and the Genius!

Best day ever? Probably.

I also think its pretty boss that the bar sells Cheezits and Chex Mix.