Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Yinz Cin Save Money in Picksburg Jist fer Being Trashy!

So Monday was "Mullet Day" at the Pittsburgh Zoo. What this means is that anyone entering the zoo with a mullet (or a mullet wig. Cheaters!) received $5 off of their admission price.

Additionally there was a "Best Mullet of the Day" contest where the winner got something awesome like a case of Iron City, a coupon for a free Primanti Bros. sandwich and discounts

Now I don't want to get all uppity and judgmental but is this really the sort of thing you want to encourage in your town. People with mullets seem to be stuck in some kind of time warp as is and institutional behavior like this suggests to them that everything is A OK when it really is not. We should be reaching out to these people to help them. Then when they're nice and close, we just grab the hair hanging down the back and cut it right the hell off.

I'm also annoyed with this because you just know some douchey jokester thought it would be a gas to buy a funny mullet wig and go to the zoo that day. I'm sure they walked around pretending to be white trash and thought that everyone was in on the joke and laughing with him. Not quite, pal. They were laughing at you. Because you are a penis.

I don't want to toot my hometown's horn, but you don't see this kind of shit in Baltimore. We're way too classy for that. We keep these people tucked away where no one can see them.

Actually, the Baltimore Zoo thought about offering a similar discount, but realized that such an act would probably bankrupt the organization. Plus, there are already a shitload of animals in there to clean up after. They didn't want to bring in more.

1 comment:

  1. Ughhhh.... that is a horrible marketing idea. Really, who came up with that? I wouldn't really want to encourage that.