Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Parkour Dog!

While very cool, this video is also terrifying. Let me explain.

There was a time when you could run from a mean dog and find refuge in all kinds of places that weren't flat ground. If this dog is leading the charge into the future then we are boned. He's jumping over fences, running up trees, climbing in your window and snatchin' your people up. Pretty soon I bet he's outfitted with a jetpack. These are the End Times.

At the very least I hope this dog is put on loan to local law enforcement. It would be fun to watch him hunt down purse-snatchers and grandma-punchers. He could even visit schools and teach kids about crime prevention.

Maybe he could even get a contrived sitcom where he is the star of the police force and every week some crook thinks he's got the best of Parkour Dog, but the audience all knows better.

Crook: You'll never catch me, Parkour Dog! I'm way up high in this tree!

[Parkour Dog climbs tree.]

Crook: Gulp!

Then after Parkour Dog has bitten off the butt of the crook's pants to reveal heart-patterned boxer shorts, the mayor (who should have a giant fake handlebar mustache and a monocle) will pin a medal onto his collar and give him a giant dog bone.

I should really take this act to Hollywood. I've got a gift.

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