Friday, October 8, 2010

The Prince of Dundalk Spirit of Superbness Award Winner

For an appropriate soundtrack, click here.

So I have decided to stop the voting and just go ahead and crown this guy the winner of the 2010 Prince of Dundalk Spirit of Superbness Award. It kind of just rolls off the tongue doesn't it?

After an exhaustive search (like a whole day!) I found this gem. Guy in the car wins this award for embodying all of the core values of this site, namely wanton destruction of public property, a complete lack of accountability and responsibility, and the wherewithal to flee the scene of a crime as quickly as possible.

What makes this winner so special is the total lack of grace in execution. This is a clusterfuck of the highest order, but our guy is not deterred from his quest to get the hell out of there no matter what stands in his way. This is the attitude that these great United States were built upon.

Not only does this guy jack up someone else's car, but he pretty much fucks up his ride as well. I'm not 100% clear as to what is going down with his car, but I do know that the rear bumper came off and there was some black smoke shooting out of the exhaust pipe. I'm no Pep Boy, but I think that is a pretty bad sign. This guy doesn't quit. Even though he hits that pole like 15 times, he keeps at it and sort of makes a getaway.

I think the panic-level in the car is beyond anything any of us have ever experienced. I really wish there was audio that could pick up what's going on inside. I'm sure there is just an insane amount of cursing and screeching.

I also imagine the sense of relief after finally leaving that parking lot is palpable. Too bad it was all caught on tape. Nice try though.

Anyway, Guy in the car has truly distanced himself from the crowd thanks to this incredible performance of havoc-wreaking, and has earned a place of honor on this blog. And probably infamy as well. If Guy in the car happens to read this, drop me a line and we can figure out how I can deliver the prize package of a free t-shirt and back rub.

PS In case it wasn't obvious, there was no real voting so don't get all bent out of shape because you didn't get a say. This is my world and y'all are just paying rent.

PPS I don't know if the driver was a man or woman so I decided to call him a guy. It's not sexist to do that since the obvious joke would be to suggest that this was clearly a woman driver. I'm enlightened like that.

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