Thursday, January 28, 2010

Jessica Simpson Steps On Duck

This is probably the best story I've heard all week long.


Exclusive: Oops! Jessica Simpson Farts During Business Meeting

Let's end this meeting on a high note!

A source tells Us Weekly that Jessica Simpson had a, ahem, windy moment during a business meeting for her denim line in late January. "While one of the executives was speaking in a room full of five people, Jessica let out a very loud fart," says the insider.

"Her mother [Tina Simpson] was there, and it prompted her to turn around and yell, 'Jessica!' The tension was extreme. No one knew what to say."

It wasn't Simpson's first brush with public flatulence: She famously cut loose on an episode of Newlyweds, telling then-husband Nick Lachey, "You love my stinky ass," and professed her fondness for between-the-sheets poots (a.k.a. Dutch ovens) to a radio station in 2008.

In my head this hilarious situation plays out like the fart scene in Stepbrothers, where John C. Reilly lets a long, loud squeaker out and then denies it when Seth Rogen calls him out. The highlight is when Rogen said it tasted like onion and ketchup.

How horrible would it be to be stuck in that meeting? I also wonder if the fart was really smelly too. If its Silent But Deadly, you can lie and pass it off as someone else, but when they are loud its tough to deny it. If it was loud and toxic then God help her. I bet they would cancel the denim line.

I also like how Jessica's mother called her out in the meeting. Leave it to moms to throw you under the bus. Like Jessica didn't know she just farted. She was trying to play it cool. The real ass is the person who leaked this story to Us Weekly. If I were Jessica I would find out who did it and then hide a raw fish in their office or give them an upper-decker in their executive washroom.

I bet this is the real reason celebrities travel with an entourage. That way there is always someone else to blame, and you know they will take the fall or else the gravy train comes to a screeching halt.

I like this quote too "The tension was extreme." They make it sound like a Hitchcock thriller. You hear the fart and then the orchestra slowly builds until you have the signature slashing violins.

"There has been a fart. Dun dun dun!"

Cut the girl some slack. Like my grandfather used to say when he farted in public "Its just air."

1 comment:

  1. hahha, remember when Kendra farted and I thought someone moved some heavy furniture at your old home.