Friday, November 12, 2010

Blatant Video Theft Corner: Man Eats Beard in Lawnmower Sale Dispute. God Bless the South

I hate to rely so much on videos but when you find something like this, you don't not share it with everyone you know.

There is a lot going on in this video so it may take a few times to soak it all in. The gist of it is that two brothers were kicking it and these drunk dudes tried to buy a lawnmower for $250 from said brothers (the brothers got the mower for $2. SCANDAL!). Then the two drunk dudes figured they were getting cheated so out came the knives and guns and everything went haywire.

Long story short, the drunk guys forced the man in the ultra-classy "Southern Style" hat to eat his own beard, which totally makes sense when you think about it. What would you do if someone was trying to cheat you on the sale of a lawnmower? Punch them? Walk away from the deal? You clearly aren't from Lexington, Kentucky, the Horse Capital of the World. When you suspect a cheat, you feed that son of a bitch his beard at knifepoint. That's the Lexington Way.

And if you're the poor shit who ate his own beard at knifepoint? You take your story to the people and demand justice, because public humiliation is also the Lexington Way.

The person I feel sorriest for is the local TV reporter sent out to cover this kind of stuff. You don't graduate from college with a degree in journalism and then go on a crusade to uncover all the beard-eating crime across the nation. You sit in class dreaming of becoming Tom Brokaw or going on TV and busting up a reviled public figure a la Frost/Nixon. You're busy writing you Pulitzer speech not thinking of hard-hitting questions to ask the guy who ate his own beard.

I guess we all have to start somewhere though. I'll bet even Brian Williams has a story like this in his clips.

Also, that guy looks like Teen Wolf's dad.

1 comment:

  1. This video is all jacked. It plays a blank commercialand nothing else. This is like the third time I've tried to watch it.