Tuesday, February 16, 2010

No Internet and No Cable Make The Prince Something Something

So this blizzard has really put a damper on my thrilling lifestyle. We lost cable and Internet during the high winds of the second blizzard to come through and have not gotten them back as of this writing. As you can imagine I am super pissed off. I had lots of Internet shopping to do and no way to do it.

Hopefully, this will all be resolved soon and I won't have to resort to blogging when I should be working. Or at the very least I won't only blog when I should be working. I'll let you know how all of the Internet shopping goes.

If there is one positive thing to come out of this epic snow event it is this: I am pretty good at manual labor. I certainly don’t like it, but it seems that I am able to work for hours at a time doing something that I hate. To be certain, I bitched pretty much the entire time I was doing it, but I did it—several times over the course of several days.

By my count, I dug the house out three times. Twice during the big snowfall where we got 32 inches over two days (one of which was my fucking birthday) and then another during round two of the Blizzard of ’10 where we only got maybe 16 to 18 inches.

I then had the distinct pleasure of digging out my semi-shut-in grandmother over the weekend. As you can guess, she had not really left the house since the first snowflake fell waaaaaaay back on February 5, so there was a lot of digging to be had. While my father and I were busy digging her out (we sent the Royal Grounds Crew to help dig out the AMF Bowling Center on Merritt Boulevard and thus avoid a riot), grandma decided to yell out the screen door to us and tell us how to shovel her walkway. Never a good idea.

Although I will admit that when she yelled out to us, I was very pleased that she sounded normal. I would have figured that she might have gone over the edge while cooped up inside. I was expecting something out of The Shining when we finally got to her door, but she seemed OK. She did keep going on and on about how sick she was that we had to do all that digging for her. How sweet. I guarantee that she isn't as sick as we were of digging. But then she gave me my belated birthday present and bought us Wendy's so that made everything better.

At one point when I was flying through all of this digging, I had a bizarre little fantasy playing out in my head where I opened up my own snow removal business. Since this is pretty stupid, I quickly cleared that out of my head and began dreaming about the money these snow plow guys are getting. I know the hours suck, but they have to be pretty flush with cash right now.

Not long ago, my LA connection, Andy, and I worked out the brilliant plan to sell eggs, bread, milk and toilet paper from the back of a snow plow. Genius. Those concepts go together like cheese and macaroni.

You can take that idea to the bank.

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