Friday, August 27, 2010

We've Got Fire Tornadoes Now?

So I posted this video for two reasons.

#1. These things actually exist. It's not just something a six-year-old dreamt up after watching cartoons.
#2. It's one of the most terrifying things I have ever seen.

The wind literally whips the flames up into a whirlwind of destruction. Granted, the video doesn't show any real destruction and this thing sort of just dicks around on the screen for a bit, but I have an active imagination. Some have even said it's just too brilliant. I see a tiny fire tornado and immediately make the mental leap to a burning, mile-wide Twister-style F5 "Finger of God." I don't think Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt could outlast one of those using some pipes and a thick leather belt.

I don't even think you could hide in your storm cellar if one of my imaginary super-fire tornadoes comes a callin'. Instead of just knocking your home down, this thing obliterates it with hot wind & fire and then burns all the other shit up too. It will probably bake you in the cellar too. There is no escaping this new threat. the good news is that it has to be really dry for this to go down, which gives me a newfound respect for humidity, my arch-nemesis. I guess oppressive, stuffy heat is better than dry, burning winds.

I'm guessing the news anchor is so calm about this because he is across the Atlantic in Great Britain, while the firestorms are in Brazil. I think a live spot near one of these would go a little differently.

If you were wondering what the Apocalypse will look like, just think of these little twisters and use your imagination. I know this thing will haunt my night terrors from now on.

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