Friday, March 12, 2010

Blatant Video Theft Corner: Walrus Enjoys Self Mouth Pleasure

Again I ask you, how do you not post this? Its like a public service or something.

Now on to the important stuff. IS THAT THE MOVE?!

Dudes have been trying to do this for years and they probably never thought to submerge themselves in water. Think of all the slipped disks and other back injuries that could have been avoided if men had thought of this sooner.

Now obviously you run into a few small problems.

1. Walruses have super-huge dongs so they don't have to hedgehog as much as a normal guy would.

2. Humans can't breathe underwater. Yet.

I trust that the scientists will get on this very soon. I think you'll be able to have outpatient gill surgery by the end of the year. I can't wait.

The only problem that pops up after this is where do you go to self-fellate. Public pool is potentially out. You don't want to freak out the little kids in swim class. I can't imagine the Department of Natural Resources would be happy if there were a bunch of guys bobbing around in lakes and ponds either.

One thing is for sure, its going to be a very busy and interesting summer poolside.

PS If I happen to turn up dead in my parents' pool this summer, rest assured that I had a heart attack while doing laps. Probably at a world record pace.


  1. Ideas for Profit: one, you offer your pool to men at a reasonable rate so that they may self-fellate in privacy. Two, we make a movie about it.

  2. I like when the guy filming the video says "He's s-ing his own d."