Monday, May 10, 2010


So this is bad ass! My first thought after watching this video (and I had quite a few thoughts) was "Is this place hiring?" I would love to be the on-air talent for Cold Steel. I can't decide if I would rather be one of the silent dudes in the black polos that show up and wreck shit with the sword or the dude in the shirt and tie that gets to talk to the audience but also cut loose on meat-filled boots and pig carcasses. Decisions, decisions.

In all seriousness, I think it would be really great to work at a company where you probably get a promotion for coming up with the idea of filling empty two-liter bottles with colored liquid for sweet slo-mo shots. I'd also like to work closely with the man who dreamed up the idea of hacking a pig head to bits while it is tied to a stake. I could learn a lot from someone like that.

My favorite quote from the video is probably this: "Carrying a big dagger to match your sword is always a good idea." My friend Aragorn was just saying this exact thing the other day and I couldn't agree more.

True story. One day I was battling the Visigoths with some buddies of mine and I ran a guy through with my sword and it got stuck! WTF? I kept trying to yank it out but it was lodged in some bone or something. The next thing you know, this giant guy with a battle axe comes running up and I've got no weapon. I had to take of my Viking helmet and beat the guy to death with that! If I'd sprung for the the matching dagger, it would have gone much smoother and I wouldn't have to find new horns for my helmet. Lesson learned.

Also, I feel that this tidbit from the YouTube page is very important to know. "Meats utilized in this video was carefully preserved and donated to the Ventura County Rescue Mission."

How nice. Enjoy your boot meat, hobos! I hope you don't mind your ham steak being carved up with a fucking broadsword.


  1. "Carrying a big dagger to match your sword is always a good idea!" - Really?

    I think you would be the guy taking the orange soda bath. That is dedication to your craft.

  2. I think you're right about the soda bath. I would sky-rocket up the corporate ladder by suggesting we fill the bottles with fake blood.

    Also, another videos in the series mentioned that they sword they were selling was really heavy and would have to be worn strapped across the back. I like that they think people are wearing these out and about.

  3. I knew you would like this company the moment I saw the videos they put out. I couldn't have sent you the link fast enough.