Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Delta Force and CIA Shit Rules


So when I'm not watching the History Channel or Military Channel's high-quality programs about war and the Special Forces, I am scanning other networks for their offerings. Tonight, the National Geographic Channel aired a show called CIA Confidential that detailed the CIA's attempts to take out Osama Yo Mama right after 9/11.

Apparently, they sent seven operatives into the Hindu Kush mountains with the mandate to kill Osama and bring his head to the president. I think that was for real too. I can see Bush asking for something like that. Anyways, the show talked with the ex-Special Forces dudes who were in Afghanistan as well as their handlers at Langley and was pretty cool. They even talked with the legit Special Ops teams that were helping out in the mountains, including the commander of the Delta Force team (the U.S. Army's premier anti-terror team) who goes by the name... Dalton Fury! I'm guessing its a pseudonym but that is certified bad-ass. I actually went "Whooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaa" when they said his name on the show.

I can't really think of a cooler name. It screams "secret agent." Plus, this dude could put you down fast. I would not mess with a dude named Dalton Fury.

I think my excitement over Dalton's name has a lot to do with my own name. I kind of sound like I should have a fruit cart on some New York street or be tossing dough in the air at your local pizzeria. My name does not suggest a man of mystery or a dude not to be trifled with. Which is why I made up my own. Rock Dangerwolf. I think that name sums up what I'm all about. You don't fuck around with a dude named Rock Dangerwolf. Names carry power and my new one is powerful as shit.

If I were a Delta commander, they would have given me a lame name, I bet. It would have been something like Frederick Hobosweat. And its not like you can complain about it. Its bad form.

I think Chuck Norris should have had a more bad-ass name to go along with his super-sick motorcycle in 1986's action classic, Delta Force. Scott McCoy does not do him justice. It sounds like someone on 90210 or something. Lee Marvin went by Nick Alexander, which is pretty cool I guess, but I have always had a big problem with people that have two first names. Its just dumb. Gary Frank. Steve Mark. John James. Ted Todd. Doug Steve. The list goes on and on and it only gets worse. But I digress.

I think the movie would have been way cooler if the dude firing the missiles from his chopper was named Dalton Fury.


Get 'em, Dalton!

2 comments:

  1. I want to have sex with Dalton Fury.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think I would have sex with him too.

    Furthermore, I plan to add Dalton Fury as one of my many aliases.

    ReplyDelete