Thursday, June 11, 2009

It's a Twister! It's a Twister: Tornado in Dundalk!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a tornado was confirmed to have touched down in my kingdom yesterday.

The National Weather Service confirmed that an EF-0 tornado did occur during the storms that attacked Maryland yesterday. An EF-0 is basically the smallest tornado you can have while still calling it a tornado with wind speeds of 70 miles per hour. I think it was so tiny because Mother Nature was afraid she might piss me off.

Unfortunately, I was indisposed yesterday during the storms or I would have sorted the whole thing out. Sometimes I spin around really fast in the opposite direction of the tornado and just watch the damn thing fizzle out. If I'm a little bit tired I just yell at it really loud and it pretty much just stops. In addition to being a King of the Sea, I'm a bit of a Storm God as well. There are many facets to my being.

Most importantly, I don't want anyone to worry. I have opened the treasury to finance the repairs. It will only be a matter of days before all the pink flamingoes, painted tire planters and giant NASCAR flags appear on my kingdom's lawns and things return to normal.

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