Monday, April 12, 2010

Honda Unveils Greatest Device Ever

Finally! I get tired of walking quickly and I don't like to ride my Segway because I have to stand up and its hard on my feet, so you can imagine how happy I was to see that Honda has us slothful consumers in mind with its newest device.

The U3-X kicks all kinds of ass and will make it infinitely easier for me to make my way from the couch to the fridge for another beer or bowl of Fruity Pebbles.

Hopefully Wal-Mart will start offering these for customer use because the current Jazzies are so out this season.

My only gripe is that the butt cushion doesn't look that comfortable and I could really use a place to put my Big Gulp. And maybe a pizza.

I think another great use for one of these - besides encouraging my sloth - would be tricking friends into thinking you are a ghost. You just throw a sheet over yourself and start gliding around the room with that thing and people will think you are totally from the Other Side. If you mix up a little green slime you could totally pass for a non-repeating phantasm or a class 5 free-roaming vapor.

The possibilities are endless, really. Thanks Honda!


  1. Yeah... it seems like they'll have to make different size vehicles for different size butts.

  2. It probably works fine for Japanese consumers. Here in America, we would definitely need something a little bit bigger and cushier.

  3. I would kill myself on that thing...

    Regarding your most recent poll, I voted for LOTR but I think you're fully aware of the price that I'd be willing to pay for that experience...

  4. Didn't we learn any lessons from the movie Wally???