Tuesday, April 20, 2010

My Latest Poll is Closed

You guys did not disappoint me. Point Break came in at the top spot with 40% of the votes. I think I could probably name all the people that voted for that movie. This movie winning means there is justice in the world, just like Johnny Utah got justice in his own special way. I think we can all take solace in that.

You can also take solace in the fact that this t-shirt exists in the world. WHAT?! That thing is the shit. I'm straight up buying that. It screams "awesome blogger/FBI bad ass/surf god" and that's pretty much what I'm going for on a daily basis.

The Lord of the Rings trilogy came in second place as I figured it would. It's cool and nerdy but doesn't have the cache of Point Break. I knew of one person who would definitely vote for that one, but this also happened to be a guy who said he would let the Hobbits gang-bang him for the chance to travel through Middle Earth.

That just sounds dangerous to me. First, those four little dudes could really deal out some shit so you can't assume you'll be in a power position during the sex. Then, assuming you get through the orgy, you're running through Middle-Earth with no kind of weapons training. Unless you just hung out and got baked on pipe weed in the Shire, you're going to run into some trouble. There are evil orcs and wizards and trolls and then humans. You think you're going out for a ride on the Riddermark and then BOOM! Eomer throws a spear through your chest for cruising on his turf. No questions asked.

I'll stick with sunny SoCal, thank you very much. I'd also like to try those meatball sandwiches Pappas kept talking about.

The Hangover netted 10% (1 vote) and I think this is a wonderful choice except for the intense hangover (duh!) you would have whilst rolling through Vegas.

Any porno ever made also netted 10% and this was my dark horse pick. I almost voted for this myself. I think the idea of free love like in the pornos is pretty great too. It takes no work in porn.

You go to your teacher to ask about a grade and she gives you an "A" if you bang her. Great. In porn you can drive along a street and basically talk an unsuspecting woman into your car and back to your studio with the flimsiest of lies. I think living in a porn would be nice for a day or two, but it would probably be exhausting. Plus there is the VD to consider.

Sex and the City got one vote too. I put that choice in as a way of profiling my audience. To whomever chose that one, congrats! You failed the test.


  1. The deal was that you have a 2 hour love making session with the four hobbits in exchange for 2 weeks in Middle earth doing whatever you want, wherever you want and you're guaranteed not to get hurt.... you can go to Southern California and surf and rob banks anytime but a 2 week vacay in Middle Earth?! Come on....

  2. Is that what we decided on? Two hours? I seem to recall you offering up the hypothetical unprompted.

    I also like how you call it "love making." Its sweet that you went there. It sounds way more tender than a "four-way."